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07 June 2009 @ 03:09 pm
I had my PRE-OP appointment last week.  My surgery is still scheduled for June 25th.  I have booked a follow up appointment for 4 days later.
With just about 2 weeks until my surgery I am very anxious to have it done!  I just want to wake up and have it over with.  Perhaps it is the knowledge that I will soon not have my expanders but I have been noticing just how uncomfortable they really are... 
I am feeling more nervous about the surgery as well.  I find my surgery seems to be always on my mind.  I am worried more this time about the post-op pain.  With my initial surgery I was able to have a spinal 'block' (an epidural of sorts) and I really think that played a big role in why I had so little pain after the first surgery.  How does one 'get ready' to be in pain?  I'm not sure... I guess maybe to acknowledge it is coming at the same time not dwell on it.  I was given a prescription for pain medication, I will fill that before the surgery and be "armed" with it when I hurt.  I still believe that I would rather heal 'high' and pain free than not take any medications and have discomfort.  That being said, I guess I AM ready for the pain.  :~)
Compared to the first surgery (according to those who have had this done already) this one is supposed to be much easier.  All the 'work' is done.  The mastectomy is done the expanders have been placed and filled, the 'pocket' is made.  So this surgery simply means making an incision and doing the 'switch'.  Sounds easy, right? 
Dr T will be going in UNDER my 'breast' near the IMF (intramammary fold).  I will end up with what they call an 'anchor scar' or breast reduction scar.  So the incision will be bellow my current one and she will change my expanders to my permanent implants.  She will also 'fix' the extra/loose skin around my foob as well.  There is a small pucker at the top of both my current incisions and I have asked her to deal with those, she said she would.
I am trying to prepare myself mentally for what what will be happening.  I am not sure if I will have drains or not (I forgot to ask).  I am also trying to prepare for the shock that I will have at the change of my appearance.  As unattractive as these expanders are, I am used to them.  They are me.  I know what they look like, not that I think they are NICE, but it could be worse.  Now it will change... I've had 6months with my expanders, will it take me 6months to get used to my new implants?  Time will tell.
I must admit I am looking forward to giving my husband a hug and not having these 'turtle shells' on my chest when I do it!!!  I keep repeating to myself... "squishy foobs, squishy foobs, squishy foobs.."