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19 March 2012 @ 02:15 pm
 
Three Years Later - They are not perfect... but they are mine  (March 2012)

I know it is hard to think as you are living this journey that there will be an "after" - there is. There comes a time where you are not obsessed with Drs appointments, procedures, implants, cc's, surgery; There is life beyond all that..... and life is 'normal' once again.

I am not completely free of reminders of my surgery... in fact I still have muscle spasms from time to time so I have to be careful. I realize I have not focused enough time on rebuilding the strength in my pectoral muscles. Most recently (about 2 months ago) my husband and I were sitting in the front row of a concert at a local church when my left foob started to spasm! (I had been doing some pretty heaving shoveling of snow earlier in the day) So there I was sitting in the front row grabbing my left foob. The muscle felt tight and sore, I was able to find some relief by pressing with my palm open firmly on my foob. -nice view for they band on stage!!- Thankfully I had a scarf and was able to hide what I was doing from those who would happen to glance my way - I hope.

They're not perfect but they're mine; as my 'old' breast were not perfect, I no longer expect these to be.

Over these years I have been blessed to meet others in my area who are facing the same choices those of us who cary this mutation are faced with. Some have chosen to have the surgery.... and I've noticed that their results seem so much nicer than mine. I'm OK with that. My foobs are not perfect but they do feel like they are my own.

I am not as quick to do a 'show and tell' in a public bathroom as I was so eager to do soon after my surgery, nor does the subject of my mastectomy come up in daily conversation nearly as much as it used to... Again I think it's simply because I am moving forward with life.

I am so happy to find there are so many more resoures out there than there were even a few years ago. One site I have found to be packed with really wonderful information including fact sheets, sample leters of how to tell ones family about the BRCA mutation as well as other usefull information: http://www.inourgenes.ca/

It is hard for me to believe it has been 3 years from my initial surgery; it seems like just yesterday and yet at the same time it feels so far away, almost another life. I know that I went through those things ... I just don't "feel" it any longer. I'm not sure if I am making myself clear, I'm just not sure how to better express it.

Before I sign off again I would like to take a moment to say thank you for those who write. Please know I value each letter.

Blessings to you all,
~Lianne